Posts Tagged ‘wife’

My youngest daughter, just turned 10, when asked what she wants to be when she grows up says ‘a mum’ – well actually she is now saying a mom unfortunately ;). Thinking about this led me to think about what influence I, as her mum, have on her and her sister and the whole nature versus nurture debate.

Youngest looking very comfortable with my BFF's baby

I sometimes feel guilty in this day and age for being a SAHM who has never really pursued a career. I wonder what I’m teaching my kids and I often tell her that she needs to find a career before she becomes a wife and mum. But does she? She is a natural around babies and kids just as I was as a kid. I always babysat, I was an AuPair for 5 years, did daycare in my home and always wanted to be a mum. Have I taught her this or was she born this way?  Oh the guilt of it all – lol

Well, I would feel guilty except I look at my eldest who is 12 1/2 and she is totally awkward around babies and young kids and wants to work in  movies as an actress, stylist or costume designer. Whoa! Where did that come from! Nothing in her upbringing instilled this into her she was always that way inclined – we have encouraged it but it’s innate.

Eldest looking rather less comfortable 🙂

So, back to my influence. I’m hoping I am showing them that they can can have it whichever way they choose. I may not have had a career as such but I always worked and provided for myself until WE decided I would stay at home with the girls. Even then I always did something to bring some money in and for my own self esteem. I did the daycare, I ran an ebay shop in the UK and I did some party plan direct selling in Australia. Now they see their mum working her butt off to grow her own business as a Coordinator for an AuPair program so it’s not as if I have sat around dusting and watching soaps all day.

I married a great Dad who allowed me to be the mum I wanted to be by taking on the responsibility of providing for us. Sure we took ‘traditional’ roles to a degree but mainly because I REALLY wanted to be with my kids.

Anyway – the upshot of this rambling is that I think nature way outweighs nurture. Both my kids have the same parents doing the same things and bringing them up the same way and one wants to be a mum, primarily, and the other wants a career in the movies.

What do you think your influence is on your kids with regards to what they want to be when they grow up? Do you think you have any or that their talents and wishes are innate?

Since my interview with Ann Evanston for her Warrior-Preneur Facebook Fan of the Week I have been unable to stop thinking about our conversation about limiting beliefs where I said my deepest one is that of feeling ‘not quite good enough’ to succeed in business. In the interview Ann said that there are two types of fear – fear of failure and fear of success and I’ve been trying to decide which mine is and I think it’s the latter.

I’ve since been reading a little about fear of success and have been trying to decide why I feel this way a few things I read in the linked article resonate for me – particularly this part ‘You fear the changes in your lifestyle that will accompany your success: the loss of privacy, the decrease in time for your loved ones, the need to travel a lot, meet new people, be more on the move.’. Some of the other ‘symptoms’ of fear of success also resonate a little but I think this one is my biggest symptom.

I think for me it’s all about redefining how I look at myself having been a wife and Mum for so long now. Sure, I’ve always worked from home but I can see that I sabotaged some of those efforts myself really though it didn’t help that we kept moving countries and that I hadn’t found something that really clicked for me. When I first became a Coordinator for Cultural Care AuPair I just thought it would be a nice little job working for myself that would just keep me busy while my daughters are at school. However, as I gradually started to love the role more and more I started to want to really go somewhere with this.

I have no idea why I feel this way as my husband and daughters are very proud that I have found work that I love and that I’m enjoying so much. I think I have been finding it hard to change to looking at myself as a business woman but I’m now using  positive self talk to change that around and also meeting other business women more and more who, I’m finding, are mostly just like me – not all driven super women.  Like the article says though – ‘Confront your fears, speak to them, give them a face and the death of fear is sure’ and do you know something – I am feeling better already about this now I’ve thrown it out there. Ann Evanston you aren’t only teaching me about Social Media but your bootcamp is life changing therapy for me and I can’t thank you enough.

What fears do you have that you need to confront and how are you going to do that?