Posts Tagged ‘kids’

My youngest daughter, just turned 10, when asked what she wants to be when she grows up says ‘a mum’ – well actually she is now saying a mom unfortunately ;). Thinking about this led me to think about what influence I, as her mum, have on her and her sister and the whole nature versus nurture debate.

Youngest looking very comfortable with my BFF's baby

I sometimes feel guilty in this day and age for being a SAHM who has never really pursued a career. I wonder what I’m teaching my kids and I often tell her that she needs to find a career before she becomes a wife and mum. But does she? She is a natural around babies and kids just as I was as a kid. I always babysat, I was an AuPair for 5 years, did daycare in my home and always wanted to be a mum. Have I taught her this or was she born this way?  Oh the guilt of it all – lol

Well, I would feel guilty except I look at my eldest who is 12 1/2 and she is totally awkward around babies and young kids and wants to work in  movies as an actress, stylist or costume designer. Whoa! Where did that come from! Nothing in her upbringing instilled this into her she was always that way inclined – we have encouraged it but it’s innate.

Eldest looking rather less comfortable 🙂

So, back to my influence. I’m hoping I am showing them that they can can have it whichever way they choose. I may not have had a career as such but I always worked and provided for myself until WE decided I would stay at home with the girls. Even then I always did something to bring some money in and for my own self esteem. I did the daycare, I ran an ebay shop in the UK and I did some party plan direct selling in Australia. Now they see their mum working her butt off to grow her own business as a Coordinator for an AuPair program so it’s not as if I have sat around dusting and watching soaps all day.

I married a great Dad who allowed me to be the mum I wanted to be by taking on the responsibility of providing for us. Sure we took ‘traditional’ roles to a degree but mainly because I REALLY wanted to be with my kids.

Anyway – the upshot of this rambling is that I think nature way outweighs nurture. Both my kids have the same parents doing the same things and bringing them up the same way and one wants to be a mum, primarily, and the other wants a career in the movies.

What do you think your influence is on your kids with regards to what they want to be when they grow up? Do you think you have any or that their talents and wishes are innate?

Me - second from left with friends and my daughters

So, our second winter in Utah I decided to try and improve at skiing as much as possible and bought season passes for the whole family. After all us older mums have to keep up with our kids and my kids were getting really good at skiing. After my first few times out I was bored stiff with the one and only green slope and decided to take myself off down an easy blue. I called my hubby, who was elsewhere on the mountain with a friend of ours, and told him I was going to give it a try and he wanted to come and help me. I told him I wanted no pressure and would rather try alone – I always hate the feeling that I’m holding anyone back and would much rather fail alone than have someone ‘help’ me. I felt sick to my stomach as I rode up the chairlift and felt my legs turn to jelly as we approached the top. Well, it took a while (erm ages) to get down the run and I fell down a more than a few times but I DID IT!!!

There was no looking back then.

  • I took another lesson and spent the rest of the winter gradually improving.
  • read skiing books
  • I watched learn to ski videos by Lasse Lyck on youtube over and over (I always throw myself into things whole heartedly when I decide to do something).
  • I joined a ski forum for women and read and reread hints and tips and asked questions.


I think I skiied around 40 times in total; sometimes alone, sometimes skiing with the children and Chaz (though he snowboards) and sometimes with friends.

By the end of winter, I was tackling some quite difficult blues and going all over the mountain and had whole days where I didn’t fall over once! I even tackled DEEP powder when we had some late big snowfalls. Amazing what mileage will do. I must say I’m quite chuffed with myself for overcoming my fears and I’ve had a few ‘break through’ moments where I get the wind in my hair, it all feels good and I shout ‘I CAN SKI!!!” with a big grin on my face and my kids are very proud of their mum! Learning to ski has given me a sense that I could do anything now (well enclosed spaces might still be an issue – LOL) and I’m even thinking of doing a zipline this summer with my AuPairs. I now look back at those years where I was full of fear and refused to try and ‘do’ things and wonder who that woman was.

Have you ever had any break through moments that have helped you to change how you see yourself?